the return of the cookie run autism

14/03/2025

As someone with the attention span of a goldfish, it is not uncommon for me to bounce between interests like a frog hopping between lilypads. There are things I will never fall out of love with but don't always partake in, or things I fixate on heavily for a few weeks and then forget about completely, and Cookie Run Kingdom is the former. I started playing in late 2021 - I remember Mala Sauce Cookie and Pumpkin Pie Cookie being in the "newly released" gacha, and played pretty heavily until around the time Eclair Cookie and Tea Knight cookie were released (so, the majority of the winter spanning 2021 and 2022). I then waned off of playing it obsessively, and actually ended up getting back into it on a different device (my phone is old and doesn't like big games, so I switched to Bluestacks on my laptop) but never really got back into it in a major way.

Until the last update.

For the last three or so weeks, I've been playing daily; keeping up with the (mostly dead, except one or two people) guild activities, making major leaps in world exploration, and actually properly decorating my kingdom. And I'll be so honest, it is entirely because the colloquially-named "deceit trio" were made in a lab to appeal to me specifically. Yes, all three of them. Don't sue me, I love bitches who lie for fun. And then Devsisters decided to drop a bomb on the already smoking wasteland that was my motivation to do anything but play the silly cookie game by releasing Black Forest Cookie. I. Love. Insane. Bitches. (Note that the word "bitches" is used entirely affectionately).

So now I'm stuck here again, I thought I'd list off some of my favourite cookies, in no particular order, and gush about them!

• Black Forest Cookie: She is my darling angel baby, love of my life, silly rabbit - you cannot give me a religious zealot character based on the concept of a sacrificial bride, who wants to literally marry her version of a god, who is voiced by fucking CHELSEA from DEAD MEAT, and expect me not to imprint on them instantly. Her design is so stinking cute, and her Cake Bride form is such genuinely good monster design. Chelsea also hit it out of the park with her voice acting - and I didn't even know she was a voice actor!

• Candy Apple Cookie: Next on my list of unhinged girlies, Candy Apple Cookie was my profile picture up until Black Forest Cookie's release, and I honestly may change it back eventually! She and Black Forest both activate the same neurons in my brain that were devastatingly obsessed with yandere characters when I was a weeby teen (not that I would call either of them necessarily yandere, but maybe adjacent to the concept?), and I'm genuinely obsessed with her design and voice acting too! She's just everything to me I swear.

• Mystic Flour Cookie: I love her. Did I mention I love her? She is genuinely such a cool villain concept, and is lowkey genuinely scary when you look past the general silliness of Cookie Run and actually thing about her deal? The concept of futility and hopelessness being something you can easily sink into, and that people would find it more desirable than the crushing weight of their responsibilities is something I resonate with deeply. Also she just looks fucking badass and I love the unaffected yet kind of teenage-older-sister-ish her voice is?? Does that make sense??

• Shadow Milk Cookie: Potentially the entire reason I got back into Cookie Run. While I think most of the cookies are super cute and fun, I don't think there's ever been a cookie that was genetically engineered in a lab (bakery) to appeal to my aesthetic and character preferences as this fucking freak. Unhinged weirdo whose entire thing is lying, who has an eye motif and performance/theatre motifs and aesthetics? Devsisters is so unlucky I don't spend money on mobile games because my wallet would have been emptied the day I reinstalled the game. I played like one episode of Beast Yeast that he was in and went "oh fuck, this is my favourite specialest little guy forever and ever now." It doesn't help that he's like, the most powerful character in game now, so I had to max him out instantly.

So, now that you're all convinced I have horrible amazing taste in characters, I'll end this list. I did say when I made this blog that it was going to be full of random rambles, so if you've read this far, godspeed!